Who will forgive whom? - Tag graylikeme

[open_flame]

What would happen if Liz's yearly distraction mission on the anniversary of the day she killed her family was to try to recruit a watchmaker from Queens to the BPRD?

Featuring the illustrious and amazing graylikeme in the role of Gabriel Gray.




I don’t need to check the calendar. I know what day it is. The worst day of the year. Everyone at the Bureau has been walking on eggshells like they do every year. Don’t mention it. Don’t upset her. Give her an easy mission to make her feel useful and better about herself.

Right.

I grab the file off my bed and read though it slowly. Queens….great. Still, it beats the hell out of sitting around here all day with my thoughts. I don’t want that, even though it’s what they don’t want as well. For once, the powers that be of the BPRD and I agree on something. If I don’t get out of this place and get my mind off what I did in Kansas, I will…do something I’ll regret. Or maybe...I wouldn’t regret it. Been thinking about it enough lately, but I never have the guts to even touch that big gun in the bottom of my dresser. It took a lot of cash and time to find a shop to sell me one without a background check. All that time and energy, and I can’t even work up the courage to pick it up, put it to my head and pull the trigger.

The plane ride is quick. At first I entertain the idea of it just dropping out of the sky, like planes do sometimes. That would make it easy. I wouldn’t even have to lift a finger to end my life. Of course, I don’t want to take the pilot with me, and I can hear Manning bitching in my head about how much it would cost to replace the plane. It’s the little one, not the big jet. I could have driven, but…I guess Manning could spare the puddle jumper before one of the cars. They never want to leave me ALL alone today. Guess they’re not so stupid after all. At least the pilot won’t be following me to Queens. Sad eyes work pretty well to get what you want sometimes.

I distract myself from the thoughts of the day my family died by reading the file over. Gabriel Gray, a watchmaker. He’s been talking to that Chandra Suresh. They say Suresh is a complete wack-job. Lovely. He probably another one of those that thinks we’re to be studied, researched. Like we’re some sort of wonderful evolution that means everything’s going to be OK. Sparkles and rainbows and sunshine and gifts from God and all that bullshit.

It’s not a gift. It’s a curse. We’re not special. We’re…freaks.

Still, this Gabriel has something new. Something the Bureau hasn’t seen before, and Manning wants him. Or wants his power on the payroll, more accurately. Intuitive aptitude. He can see how anything works. Would be a nice skill to have around the Bureau. Maybe he can fix that damn drippy shower finally.

I take a cab to the shop in Queens. Gray & Sons. It looks like an ordinary watch shop. But I know better than most that things are not always what they seem. I step out of the cab, the bits of the watch we had Red smash in an envelope. Like anyone could actually fix this, but we need a cover. Something to get him talking about what he could do and hopefully convince him to come with me back to BPRD. We could use some new blood that doesn’t get killed or quit in less than a month.

I put on that great fake smile I’ve perfected and push the door to the shop open. “Hello?” It looks spotless, like my room. A place for everything and everything in its place. The gently ticking of the array of clocks on the wall is almost soothing, like a meditation or a song. Maybe I should get a clock.

“Mr. Gray?” I move a little farther back in the shop. He’s supposed to be here. Maybe be went out for lunch or something? “Come out come out where ever you are.”

I throw caution to the wind and push back to the rear of the shop. Hopefully he won’t mind that I…

FUCK! My hand is up with a small fireball in an instant, a flick of my wrist spinning it towards the rope tied around the mans neck. He hits the ground with loud thud as I drop the envelope and rush over to him, grabbing his head to make him look at me as he gasps from air. The rope is still circling his neck, those eyes filled with an all to familiar look of pain and regret. We’re both pulling at it, trying to get his airflow back to him. A rope? Never thought of trying it that way. I wonder if it hurts less than a bullet. If the rope was a little longer your neck would probably just snap before you even had time to suffocate..

Do your job, Lizzie!

“ Are you alright?” I try not to sound panicked myself. This is NOT what this was supposed to be. Who the FUCK sends a suicidal girl to go talk to a suicidal man and offer him a fucking job? Fucking Manning! He could maybe have them do a tiny bit more research. We know the guy likes tea, but we didn’t know he wanted to off himself?

He’s gasping for air, looking at me like I’m some kind of devil…or angel. “Hey, come on. Say something.” What’s he thinking? God I wish Abe was here.

His eyes gloss over with wetness, his face twisted up in pain as he leans in closer to me. I don’t know what to do or say or even think. Does he want…a hug? Would a hug even help? Hugs are supposed to help right?

“Forgive me.” He wheezes as I pull him close to my chest, without really meaning to.

Forgive him? For what?

Comments

[graylikeme.livejournal.com]

"I've actually never been outside of New York, so I don't know about flying, really."

I head for the hidden room behind the mirror where I keep a small suitcase, blocking the view for her, not wanting her to see what I painted on the walls in there. Returning, I head for the small bedroom and place some clothes in it, careful with shirts and pants. "Just a few books" I manage a smile looking over at her on the way to the bathroom.

What am I doing? I try not to think about that so much, it's better for me to not be here, isn't it? If they ever find Brian, I won't be here to be questioned, that's another advantage by going.

"So... um, do you... do you read a lot?" I'm conscious of trying to keep a conversation, I'm not too good at it, not used to talking this much to someone I don't know either. It's difficult.

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

While he packs I glance around the front room, trying not to be nosy, but also trying to get a feel for the guy, too.

"Flying's not so bad." I'm lying though my teeth. I hate flying, but you can't avoid it with a job like this. "You'll see plenty of the planet with the Bureau. We've got branches all over the world." That is the truth. An understatement really.

I frown a bit at his question, though he can't see me. "I don't read as much as I should." I run my hand down the bookshelf. Everything is perfectly organized, just like Abe likes his books. "We have a very extensive collection though. Our guy in research read 4 books a day. Every day. He makes up for me." I sigh and wonder if he's making small talk, or if he's really is interested in how much I read.

"We can have your books shipped over, if you want." It would take forever to pack them all up.

[graylikeme.livejournal.com]

"Four books a day? That's..." Impossible... surely she's just exaggerating? Though she did say that people there were special people there and that's as good as any ability, isn't it? It's not one that was ever listed by Chandra, of course, but he dosen't know everything. It's not on my list either, which reminds me that I still have the map up on the wall, notes visible. I have to take care of that too before leaving.

I return, dropping the last item in the suitcase and finishing the sentence I left hanging. "It's incredible. I'd love to see that collection too." I slip sideways to the map, tugging it and the list right off the wall and into a trashcan with one smooth move. I don't need it anymore, I don't need what it represents. It shows too easily where my mind was before my attempt on my own life. Between that and the closet filled with my guilt... I don't want any of those reminders left.

"I'm ready to go, Liz."

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

My eyes flit over to the map as he tugs it down. "Were you planning a trip...or something?" It's unusual, to have a map on the wall like that, with notes all over it. Well, unusual for a civilian.

"Oh..." I look at the trash a moment as he discards the map as if it's meaningless, then back up at him as he says he's ready to go. "Sure, let's get a cab then. I'll call them and let them know to set up a room for you until we get you a place to stay, OK?" I nod a few times. "We can have someone come for the rest. One suitcase? I mean, I can pack my life into one suitcase but this guy had...a life, didn't he? More than should be able to fit in a suitcase.

[graylikeme.livejournal.com]

The suitcase only contains what I think is necessary and it's easy enough to carry downstairs. I stand next to her, waiting silently for the cab. I was sure to grab a scarf before leaving, didn't want anyone else to stare at the marks. Or stare period, really.

The cab ride is a little cramped, Liz is on the phone and I'm trying not to listen in. She's got a quiet voice, it's soft and even when I try not to pay attention, keep my eyes out the window, it somehow manages to sneak into my ears. She's talking to someone at the place we're going to, I know that much. Something about a room. I don't want to disturb at all. I'm aware of picking at the sleeve of my shirt, almost able to hear mom's voice in my head. Don't fidget, Gabriel. Sit up straight, you're not a sack of potatoes, are you? Her voice is mild, but the rock hard inner tone in it can't be denied. You can be better, Gabriel.

I wonder what she's going to think about this. Liz did say that I could say that I had a gouvernment job, so... Maybe that'll make her happier, finally.

Liz closes the phone and I glance over at her. "Everything okay? I mean... there's no trouble?"

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I know. Well, he's ready now. I know that...Yes, I know that, too. " I sigh into the phone quietly. Gabriel looks a bit uncomfortable, and I don't want to make it more so but it's better to make sure everything is set before we get there.

"Give him Sydney's old room or something. Just for now." God, you'd think they'd be happy I was able to bring him in, but no. I've got half a mind to tell Manning to bite my ass and just hang out here with Gabriel for the rest of my life.

"Listen, just make sure everything is...normal as possible when we get back." My eyes dart back to Gabriel as I hang up the phone. He's had a rough day and so have I. I want to make this as easy as possible.

"Everything is fine." I say to him, counting my blessings that there are no huge freakish things that drip slime in holding right now, and that the more 'concerning' members of out team are off on mission for the next few days.

"Things are just ahead of schedule. They will have a place for you to sleep set up when we get there and we can work on paperwork and stuff in the morning, sound good?" I reach over hesitantly and squeeze his hand. I'm not usually this touchy but, it seems like the right thing to do.

[graylikeme.livejournal.com]

I glance briefly down at her hand, not used to touches from other people than my mom, but grateful for it all the same. Liz makes me think that she cares. I mean, she probably does, she knows what's going on in my head, She's been through what I have, killing people without being able to help it. Her ability got out of control and mine did too, somehow. It's why I trust her right now.

"Yes, it sounds good. I'm not really... very up to seeing a lot of people all at once right now, I suppose." I turn my hand over, tangling fingers. Makes me feel calmer somehow. "It'll be better tomorrow." Everything is better after some sleep. Well, that is if you can sleep. I haven't had a decent rest since I killed Brian, too many thoughts, one chasing the other and churning around and around in my head.

"Who is Sydney? And was that your boss you were talking to?" Showing some interest and talking about something else... both are good things.

I MISS YOU! *hugs*

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

Are we holding hands? I've never been much into that but it feels good for some reason. Like when Kate insists on hugging me.

"We're all about making the transition as easy as possible. It'll take some getting used to but you're right, tomorrow with be better." It always is.

I nod a few time. "Dr. Corrigan wasn't in the office, so I was talking to Dr. Manning. He's the director. You'll be talking to Kate...Dr. Corrigan more though." Kate is better with dealing people like Gabriel and me. And Hellboy but we won't be telling Gabriel about him just yet. One big freaky thing at a time.

"Sydney Leach is an agent, like me. Like you're going to be. He moved out of the on site quarters a little while ago." I smile, I'm happy for him. I tried the living on my own thing a few times too, which didn't work out. "He's a human metal detector, so he comes in pretty handy."

[graylikeme.livejournal.com]

A human metal detector? It's amazing and it makes me think more about this place that I've agreed to go to. Liz said that there would be both normal people and people like us, special people. I want to fit in, I hope I will. "This... doctor. What is she going to do? Is it questions and tests? Like what Chandra did?"

I don't want to be prodded at, but presumably that's part of what they do. How else would they be able to help me control this. With so many specials... if I don't control it somehow, bad things could happen.

The cab is slowing down, we've reached the chaos that is the airport and I draw a breath at the sight of so many people, all busy, happy, going places. It makes my head buzz, but I hope we won't be here too long.

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

"Katie?" I almost laugh when he asks about tests. "No, she doesn't do that. She's a professor of history, but she specializes in folklore. She briefs us on missions and she's our liaison with the FBI."

We try not to do any of that unless the person volenteers. Anymore. Broom put a stop to that, thank God. Guess he got sick of Hellboy busting people out of the lab when he got pissed off.

"We don't do tests or experiments anymore. Unless you want them, of course."

My eyes dart around the crowded airport a moment before I pull him though the crowd of people and flash my 'typical' FBI badge to get right through security and out the the little plane that's waiting for us. Thankfully the pilot is back and doesn't ask any questions about another passenger.

We're in the air, and I'm nervous as usual, in no time. "Sorry, I'm kind of a nervous flyer." I admit sheepishly.

[graylikeme.livejournal.com]

I thought I'd be nervous too, but I'm not. It's liberating to be up in a plane, it feels as if I've left all my troubles behind down there, but I can almost feel the nervous energy she's sending out. I take her hand again, squeezing it. "It's okay, I'm here, so..." So what, Gabriel? It's not like you can stop the plane from going down or anything like that. But I already managed to cheat death once today. It wouldn't make sense for worse things than that to happen, would it?

"So we'll get through it together. I mean, just look out there. You can't even see the ground, just the clouds. You can't tell how far up we are."

I've got a feeling she's had this speech before though, about how there's nothing to worry about. And that it didn't help that time either.

"Um. Want to play a game instead? Or tell me a story?" Anything to distract her.

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

I look down at his hand again, really thankful he's supporting me rather than laughing at me. I know it's an irrational fear. I'm more likely to get killed on mission than in the plane but still

I take a deep breath and nod. "What do you want to hear about?" I ask with a laugh. I don't want to freak him out too much, not before he's even briefed. Manning would kill me if Gabriel quit before he even got started.

"Vampires, maybe?" I shrug and look at him with a weak smile.

[graylikeme.livejournal.com]

I know I'm blinking at her, I must look so stupid. "Oh, erm, vampires. Sure, tell me about that." It's not going to be real vampires, right? I've must have read Dracula a million times, but I know that vampires aren't real. Then again, if someone had mentioned something like abilities to me just a few months ago, I'd probably have thought that they were nuts. People being able to actually move things with their mind, fire out of nowhere. It does sound so very unlikely.

"What kind of vampires are they? They're not the kind that are suddenly able to walk around in broad daylight, are they?"

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

"No, thank God. Just your typical crazy vampire." I half expected a freak out. Glad he didn't though. He's handling this all so much better than the normal agents did. I supposed being the way we are makes it easier to except the unbelievable.

"I've only run into one face to face, and it wasn't really face to face. The guys...Red mostly dealt with her. She was a countess in Hungry way back in the day." I shake my head and look at Gabriel like I'm explaining how to make coffee or something normal like that. "That old myth that bathing in blood would keep you young and beautiful...not so much of a myth."

I shudder; that was so gross, all that blood around the room that clean-up had to deal with when that bathtub tipped over. Part of me considered asking if I should just burn the whole house to the ground when it was all over. But it is a historical landmark, not that anyone will buy it now.