Twitter Log - Luke & Liz - 8-5-11 (unfinished)

[open_flame]

Liz: Where is everyone?

Luke: Um.... are they at a party?

Liz: Maybe. Never know when the weird crap is gonna happen.

Luke: Aw, that's sad then. Cuz if they ARE at a party they didn't invite us.

Liz: I don't really have time for a party, Luke.

Luke: How come? What're you doing?

Liz: *shrugs* Work. Family. -Life.- *fond glare* You're so lucky, kid.

Luke: How come I'm lucky?

Liz: *smiles* You're a kid. You don't have to deal with all this adult crap.

Luke: Wanna know a secret? I didn't deal with all that 'adult' crap when I was grown up, either. =p

Liz: *scowls more* Not helping...

Luke: *radiates innocence* Am I supposed to help? *blinky blinky*

Liz: Would be nice, yeah. *sighs* Your Dad around the house more now? *because damn it, he better be*

Luke: Maybe....

Liz: *stern face* How about your mom?

Luke: Maybe....

Liz: *foldy arms* Luuuuuuke.

Luke: Liiiiiiiiiz... did you see Kitty's baby? *whispers* It's pretty ugly but I try not to barf when I look at it.

Liz: *jawdrop* LUKE! That is a terrible think to say!

Luke: Doesn't mean it isn't true! 8D I looked at books about babies and they get cuter as they get older. It's okay if she's ugly now.

Liz: *eyeroll* Just because it's true doesn't mean you say it out loud, kid. Now Kitty's gonna get a complex or something. *sigh*

Luke: Pfft. She can put a mask on her baby!

Liz: Jesus...Luke, Samantha is not ugly, she's a newborn. Stop being so rude or I'm gonna tell your father on you.

Luke: Pffft. What's /he/ gonna do about it?

Liz: *Pulls out her cell phone* I donno. *casually, but slightly threatening* You wanna find out?

Luke: You wouldn't /dare/...

Liz: *hmms, then shows Luke that @prezstandsalone 's number is ready and waiting to be dialed on her phone.* Try me. I -dare- you.

Luke: *suddenly relaxes and looks totally in control* Ah, I understand. You had ugly babies, too, right?

Liz: *oh so cranky face, then presses 'SEND' and waits. Lucky for Luke, it goes to voicemail*

Luke: *yells loudly* HELP DADDY! HELP! LIZ IS BEING MEAN!!!

Liz: *eeps* Nathan. Uh...call me, OK? *closes phone with a very loud snap* Luke, don't LIE to your father.

Luke: Who, me? You ARE being mean and I don't know why!

Liz: *another jawdrop* How am I being mean? You're the one insulting peoples children. How would you feel if Sam was your baby?

Luke: Oh man, if Sam was my baby I wouldn't show her to anyone until she got cute!

Liz: *eyebrow* Yeah? How would you do that?

Luke: *thiiinks about it* I'd put a paper bag on her head! Problem solved!

Liz: How's she gonna breath?

Luke: You can breathe with a paper bag on your head. I've worn one before!

Liz: *frowns, but recovers the stern face quickly* Did you -like- wearing the paper bag?

Luke: Yup! *stubborn* Cuz I drew a monster face on it! Rwaaar!

Liz: *tries not to laugh* I don't think babies like monsters much, Luke.

Luke: Why not? Babies don't know any better. Nobody's told them what a monster is or nothing.

Liz: *DAMN! Good point!* Well...I think maybe it's a boy thing. Little girls don't like monsters. *totally BSing RN*

Luke: o_o *FEEL THE HEAT OF A LITTLE BOY'S STARE* That is /some/ kinda poop right there, Liz.

Liz: * Oh, please. Like TnT don't do that staring thing. Liz is immune.* What... you think I'm wrong?

Luke: Pfft yessss... there's no difference between boys and girls until people start /telling/ them there's a difference.

Liz: *deadpan* Well...there's the penis and the vagina, for starters.