![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
open_flameLiz: *grumbles sleepily, hoping there's coffee*
Ames:*pushes a cup of coffee in Liz's direction*
Liz: *sighs and smiles* It's decaf right...don't want to get -in trouble-.
Ames:Want the truth? It's hot chocolate with a quarter-cup of protein stuff in it. Not bad, but it ain't coffee.
Liz:*pulls back from the sip she was about to take, but keeps the cup in her hands* Thanks
Ames: *conspiratorial whisper* Chocolate still has caffeine, y'know. Not much, but some.
Liz:I know...*which is why she's abstaining* I just think chocolate belongs in cake. *lip twitch* I miss cake...
Ames: And you're not enjoying cake because? Come on, man, you gotta cut this obsessiveness over perfection. It's impossible.
Liz:I only eat cake...at specific times. *it's a post sex ritual from Jack and Liz's first date. Since there's no sex...there's no cake* Perfection? *Liz snorts and sets the cup down.* How the hell'd we go from cake to perfection?
Ames:Cake doesn't go with the impeccable diet, nor does it match your frazzled self. What's going on with you? *SUBTLE! ...Not!*
Liz: flatly, like she's reading it off a file* I am under indefinite and mandatory leave from employment at the Bureau due to to health related complications that could effect my unborn child. *clears her throat angrily* Senator Petrelli's orders.
Ames: *shocked face, opens her mouth before snapping it closed, anger on her face* I see. Jack cleared that?
Liz: *coolly* Jack didn't say a fucking thing.
Ames: groans* 'Course he didn't. I'll see what I can do on my end, but you make the most of this little break, alright? R and R.
Liz: Don't worry about it...might not matter soon anyway. *matter of factly* Just worry about your own marriage, yeah? This place is hard on them. *small sniffle* We shouldn't even bother trying to be...normal.
Ames:Liz...sometimes, the...active effort to be normal can make you miss the normal things life has to offer people like us. Y'can't et it own you, define you, because you gotta be you, babe. And you're fuckin' nuts, and you worry too much, but you're the best friend I got, so you're not allowed to fall irreparably to a billion pieces just 'cause you're lettin' something inconsequential ruin and rule your life. *here, have some profound shit from her for once*
Liz:MY MARRIAGE IS NOT INCONSEQUENTIAL! *takes a step back because her hands are tingling with fire, that and she doesn't want Ames touching her, pulling that empathy bullshit on her* And I'm allowed to do whatever the fuck I want. *huffs* That is, as long as Senator Cocksucker says I'm 'allowed' to. But, ain't gonna matter much soon, like I said. So drop it.
Ames:*looks dumbfounded* I wasn't saying that, Liz. I was saying that your obsession with normality is responsible in part for your lack of any real normality. Don't talk about my goddamn husband like that, either. *quietly* Consider it dropped.
Liz: Good. *snapped* And thanks for the psyche eval. Send me a bill. *no apoligy for calling Nate a cocksucker, either.*
Ames: *rolls eyes* Remind me not to try offerin' advice to my best friend anymore. Christ, I was just tryin' to help.
Liz:I didn't ASK for advice, Ames! I just need... *and there its is, She has no clue what she needs if she loses her family* I... *oh fuck, Lizzie. Don't cry.* I need to...find out where Jack *and yes, she sounded like she was disgusted when she said his name* and my sons are, our plane leaves soon.
Ames: *doesnt even think about it, just reaches out and pulls Liz in for a hug, holding her close* It's okay to struggle, Liz. And it's okay to ask for help when you need it, even if you don't want it. I love you, girl. Don't lose yourself to the situation.
Liz:struggle. Oh yeah.* You don't KNOW me, Ames. You can't...help. The only one who can help...*shudders and drops to her knees, letting herself cry because it will keep her from burning Amy* Jack...*and now it's gut wrenching pain at the mention of his name* I...he...*buries her head in Amy's shoulder* It's... over. I've lost the last good thing in my life...somehow.
Ames: *holding Liz as she cries hurts, but not nearly as badly as the sharp pain in her chest from all that the other woman is finally etting out, and touching makes it hurt even more* Shh...no, this will be worked out, Liz. And you still have those beautiful little boys. They love you, and they need you still. You haven't lost them, and they're the epitome of "good." It'll work out.
Liz: *headshake* You really think...that a judge on this planet would pick -me- over Jack. *still crying* Everything I have, he gave me. I can't take care...of my children without his fucking money and fucking influence! *several deep breaths, getting upset is exactly what the doctor's told her NOT to do, exactly why she hasn't been brave enough to confront her husband about everything* I'll...just stay...with him. People do it all the time. *huffs* Not like I'm gonna live forever.
Ames: In the majority of cases, judges opt to keep children together and with their mother unless there's a damn good reason for not doing that. You spent time working, which means there's money of your own somewhere, and I'd testify that he's unstable and dangerous. You can control the fire but he can't control Him. *brushes Liz's hair back, foreheads together* Do you love him? Yes it does, but it still aches.
Liz: *the idea of divorce being possible is terrifying. The fact Amy is not really encouraging it, but offering to side with Liz only makes it hurt worse.* I've always loved him...I -will- always love him, no matter what but it's not enough. *deep breaths* I'm not enough for him. I can't....fix him. I can't help him. The...-Brother-....I don't think he wants me to.
Ames: You two need to help each other break down your walls to do better, to mesh better, Liz. You guys are so fantastic when you're not fighting, when things are good. God knows we all look up to y'all for an idea of how to do it right.
Liz:*stares* We... do things...right? *scoffs* Guess that explains why you keep punching Nathan, huh?
Ames: I keep punching Nathan because he keeps saying dumbass shit and pissing me off. Completely irrelevant. *chuckle*
Liz: ...Sounds like the exact reason I used to hit Jack. *bitter laugh* I actually...liked that better than this. This...nothing.
Ames: Heh...how often did Jack subtly call you a slut to your face? *shakes her head* You can overcome this, Liz.
Liz: Never...but he slapped me in front of Mutt's mom and Dad once. *frowns* That was..in...the past. Yeah. *sighs* Amy... we've hardly said a word to each other than stupid crap in...months. We're not even...*nods to get Amy to take the hint* Not even on Sunday. Not since...-He- came out. *swallows hard* Something's -really- wrong if Jack doesn't wanna have sex.
Ames: *eyes widen* Jesus, you aren't even fucking? That's...wait, isn't that really bad for him? *oh yeah, there's guilt all over her face when Liz says it's been that way since the Brother came out, because it was entirely Amy's fault* I'm sorry...
Liz: No...we're not. He won't even...I won't... *sighs* We have unspoken understanding, I guess you could say. *unspoken, there's the problem* I tried...but he always got called into work or was too busy. *sighs* Whatever. We get too...rough if it's been a while and since me sneezing too hard may kill my baby, imagine what the handcuf, leather, fire play make up sex would do.
Ames: Then try tender makeup sex. Not "I'm so fucking pissed at you that burning you crispy will make me come screaming," but "I'm sorry, and I love you, and I'm happy to be with you." Slow and tender has its merits.
Liz: *her face crumples* I don't know if we're...happy anymore. I really don't.
Ames:That's why you need to take time to reevaluate and reassess.
Liz: OK...stop talking like my shrinks used to. *pulls back a bit and wipes her eyes* What happens...if we don't fit in each others big pictures anymore? *wraps her arms around her stomach, that just now start to pop out a little* I want him in my life...I need him in my life but I don't think he needs me. I doubt he ever did. *sighs* I've meet the people he loved before he loved *yup, 'loved' she's convinced of that* me. *dejected sigh* I can't compare to them. I'm...just a girl
Ames: Fine, I'll drop the shrink act. Elizabeth -HARKNESS- *yes, intentionally emphasizing that* so help me God, if you use the past tense for how he feels about you again, I'm going to scream. He wouldn't have married you and had children with you if he doesn't love you. You're just a girl, yeah, but you're the one who makes him want to live. He needs you even if he's struggling.
Liz: We didn't plan...any of it. The wedding, I planned so it would be perfect but, the kids...*stops, she'd NEVER call her children accidents, but they weren't exactly planned for, just like Liz herself wasn't an intended child* Fuck, we didn't even get a real wedding. We don't even have pictures...and we about burnt down the damned church. *her face falls again* It's like fate's telling us to just give up. Like it always has been.*sighs* He's gotten by almost 150 years without me, Amy I'm not the reason he lives. I'm not what he fights for. *swallows hard* I'm not Rose...I'm not the Doctor. I never will be.
Ames: You're right. You're his goddamn wife, and the mother of his little boys. You need to get that through your thick skull, or you will never have a functional, healthy relationship that your whole family will flourish under. You, Liz, are his wife. You are he woman he's died for countless times, died to protect because he couldn't bear the thought of living without you. Who does that for people they don't love? Wake up, Liz.
Liz: HE CAN'T DIE, AMY! *shoves Amy away* EVER! He will go on FOREVER and in...50 or 60 years, maybe sooner, I'll be dead! Then the boys will be dead...then...*clutches her stomach* Whoever this is...will be dead. *she's crying again, and sparking* The universe goes on for billions...of years...forever...and what the fuck makes you think there's not gonna be more wives ...or husbands and children. FUCK! There are already children! The boys 'Aunt Alice' is not their aunt. She's Jack's daughter!
Ames: What makes you so sure there won't be! God, even if there ARE, do you really think that means you don't matter to him? Open your damn eyes sometime and watch him. Watch the way he is with the boys. Here's a novel idea: take some initiative and TALK to him.
Liz: The boys are different, Ames. *frowns* Yeah, what am I gonna say? "Babe, your crazy alter ego told me he knows you better than I do and I'm not good enough for you. Even though he's in your head and part of you, he's fulla shit, right?" Yeah...no.
Ames: No. Well, you could tell him that, and pair it with the fact that you don't think the way he's been acting lately says anything contrary to it. Look, I don't claim to have all the magic answers, but I'm trying to help you. If you would rather I just shut up and let you mope and sulk in silence, say so. I really don't like wasting my breath on something that isn't being heard.
Liz: I -hear you-. *and she does sulk and mope* But...you don't know him like I know him, Ames. One false word and he could be gone forever. *sighs* I would rather live the rest of my life with him...like it is now instead of having him leave me.
Ames: You'd rather be absolutely miserable than fix it. That's what I'm hearing. And it's ricockulous. *have a moment of snickering*
Liz: I am not taking any more stupid chances with him! I love him, and...I won't lose him. *huffs* I'll take what I can get.
Ames:*pushes a cup of coffee in Liz's direction*
Liz: *sighs and smiles* It's decaf right...don't want to get -in trouble-.
Ames:Want the truth? It's hot chocolate with a quarter-cup of protein stuff in it. Not bad, but it ain't coffee.
Liz:*pulls back from the sip she was about to take, but keeps the cup in her hands* Thanks
Ames: *conspiratorial whisper* Chocolate still has caffeine, y'know. Not much, but some.
Liz:I know...*which is why she's abstaining* I just think chocolate belongs in cake. *lip twitch* I miss cake...
Ames: And you're not enjoying cake because? Come on, man, you gotta cut this obsessiveness over perfection. It's impossible.
Liz:I only eat cake...at specific times. *it's a post sex ritual from Jack and Liz's first date. Since there's no sex...there's no cake* Perfection? *Liz snorts and sets the cup down.* How the hell'd we go from cake to perfection?
Ames:Cake doesn't go with the impeccable diet, nor does it match your frazzled self. What's going on with you? *SUBTLE! ...Not!*
Liz: flatly, like she's reading it off a file* I am under indefinite and mandatory leave from employment at the Bureau due to to health related complications that could effect my unborn child. *clears her throat angrily* Senator Petrelli's orders.
Ames: *shocked face, opens her mouth before snapping it closed, anger on her face* I see. Jack cleared that?
Liz: *coolly* Jack didn't say a fucking thing.
Ames: groans* 'Course he didn't. I'll see what I can do on my end, but you make the most of this little break, alright? R and R.
Liz: Don't worry about it...might not matter soon anyway. *matter of factly* Just worry about your own marriage, yeah? This place is hard on them. *small sniffle* We shouldn't even bother trying to be...normal.
Ames:Liz...sometimes, the...active effort to be normal can make you miss the normal things life has to offer people like us. Y'can't et it own you, define you, because you gotta be you, babe. And you're fuckin' nuts, and you worry too much, but you're the best friend I got, so you're not allowed to fall irreparably to a billion pieces just 'cause you're lettin' something inconsequential ruin and rule your life. *here, have some profound shit from her for once*
Liz:MY MARRIAGE IS NOT INCONSEQUENTIAL! *takes a step back because her hands are tingling with fire, that and she doesn't want Ames touching her, pulling that empathy bullshit on her* And I'm allowed to do whatever the fuck I want. *huffs* That is, as long as Senator Cocksucker says I'm 'allowed' to. But, ain't gonna matter much soon, like I said. So drop it.
Ames:*looks dumbfounded* I wasn't saying that, Liz. I was saying that your obsession with normality is responsible in part for your lack of any real normality. Don't talk about my goddamn husband like that, either. *quietly* Consider it dropped.
Liz: Good. *snapped* And thanks for the psyche eval. Send me a bill. *no apoligy for calling Nate a cocksucker, either.*
Ames: *rolls eyes* Remind me not to try offerin' advice to my best friend anymore. Christ, I was just tryin' to help.
Liz:I didn't ASK for advice, Ames! I just need... *and there its is, She has no clue what she needs if she loses her family* I... *oh fuck, Lizzie. Don't cry.* I need to...find out where Jack *and yes, she sounded like she was disgusted when she said his name* and my sons are, our plane leaves soon.
Ames: *doesnt even think about it, just reaches out and pulls Liz in for a hug, holding her close* It's okay to struggle, Liz. And it's okay to ask for help when you need it, even if you don't want it. I love you, girl. Don't lose yourself to the situation.
Liz:struggle. Oh yeah.* You don't KNOW me, Ames. You can't...help. The only one who can help...*shudders and drops to her knees, letting herself cry because it will keep her from burning Amy* Jack...*and now it's gut wrenching pain at the mention of his name* I...he...*buries her head in Amy's shoulder* It's... over. I've lost the last good thing in my life...somehow.
Ames: *holding Liz as she cries hurts, but not nearly as badly as the sharp pain in her chest from all that the other woman is finally etting out, and touching makes it hurt even more* Shh...no, this will be worked out, Liz. And you still have those beautiful little boys. They love you, and they need you still. You haven't lost them, and they're the epitome of "good." It'll work out.
Liz: *headshake* You really think...that a judge on this planet would pick -me- over Jack. *still crying* Everything I have, he gave me. I can't take care...of my children without his fucking money and fucking influence! *several deep breaths, getting upset is exactly what the doctor's told her NOT to do, exactly why she hasn't been brave enough to confront her husband about everything* I'll...just stay...with him. People do it all the time. *huffs* Not like I'm gonna live forever.
Ames: In the majority of cases, judges opt to keep children together and with their mother unless there's a damn good reason for not doing that. You spent time working, which means there's money of your own somewhere, and I'd testify that he's unstable and dangerous. You can control the fire but he can't control Him. *brushes Liz's hair back, foreheads together* Do you love him? Yes it does, but it still aches.
Liz: *the idea of divorce being possible is terrifying. The fact Amy is not really encouraging it, but offering to side with Liz only makes it hurt worse.* I've always loved him...I -will- always love him, no matter what but it's not enough. *deep breaths* I'm not enough for him. I can't....fix him. I can't help him. The...-Brother-....I don't think he wants me to.
Ames: You two need to help each other break down your walls to do better, to mesh better, Liz. You guys are so fantastic when you're not fighting, when things are good. God knows we all look up to y'all for an idea of how to do it right.
Liz:*stares* We... do things...right? *scoffs* Guess that explains why you keep punching Nathan, huh?
Ames: I keep punching Nathan because he keeps saying dumbass shit and pissing me off. Completely irrelevant. *chuckle*
Liz: ...Sounds like the exact reason I used to hit Jack. *bitter laugh* I actually...liked that better than this. This...nothing.
Ames: Heh...how often did Jack subtly call you a slut to your face? *shakes her head* You can overcome this, Liz.
Liz: Never...but he slapped me in front of Mutt's mom and Dad once. *frowns* That was..in...the past. Yeah. *sighs* Amy... we've hardly said a word to each other than stupid crap in...months. We're not even...*nods to get Amy to take the hint* Not even on Sunday. Not since...-He- came out. *swallows hard* Something's -really- wrong if Jack doesn't wanna have sex.
Ames: *eyes widen* Jesus, you aren't even fucking? That's...wait, isn't that really bad for him? *oh yeah, there's guilt all over her face when Liz says it's been that way since the Brother came out, because it was entirely Amy's fault* I'm sorry...
Liz: No...we're not. He won't even...I won't... *sighs* We have unspoken understanding, I guess you could say. *unspoken, there's the problem* I tried...but he always got called into work or was too busy. *sighs* Whatever. We get too...rough if it's been a while and since me sneezing too hard may kill my baby, imagine what the handcuf, leather, fire play make up sex would do.
Ames: Then try tender makeup sex. Not "I'm so fucking pissed at you that burning you crispy will make me come screaming," but "I'm sorry, and I love you, and I'm happy to be with you." Slow and tender has its merits.
Liz: *her face crumples* I don't know if we're...happy anymore. I really don't.
Ames:That's why you need to take time to reevaluate and reassess.
Liz: OK...stop talking like my shrinks used to. *pulls back a bit and wipes her eyes* What happens...if we don't fit in each others big pictures anymore? *wraps her arms around her stomach, that just now start to pop out a little* I want him in my life...I need him in my life but I don't think he needs me. I doubt he ever did. *sighs* I've meet the people he loved before he loved *yup, 'loved' she's convinced of that* me. *dejected sigh* I can't compare to them. I'm...just a girl
Ames: Fine, I'll drop the shrink act. Elizabeth -HARKNESS- *yes, intentionally emphasizing that* so help me God, if you use the past tense for how he feels about you again, I'm going to scream. He wouldn't have married you and had children with you if he doesn't love you. You're just a girl, yeah, but you're the one who makes him want to live. He needs you even if he's struggling.
Liz: We didn't plan...any of it. The wedding, I planned so it would be perfect but, the kids...*stops, she'd NEVER call her children accidents, but they weren't exactly planned for, just like Liz herself wasn't an intended child* Fuck, we didn't even get a real wedding. We don't even have pictures...and we about burnt down the damned church. *her face falls again* It's like fate's telling us to just give up. Like it always has been.*sighs* He's gotten by almost 150 years without me, Amy I'm not the reason he lives. I'm not what he fights for. *swallows hard* I'm not Rose...I'm not the Doctor. I never will be.
Ames: You're right. You're his goddamn wife, and the mother of his little boys. You need to get that through your thick skull, or you will never have a functional, healthy relationship that your whole family will flourish under. You, Liz, are his wife. You are he woman he's died for countless times, died to protect because he couldn't bear the thought of living without you. Who does that for people they don't love? Wake up, Liz.
Liz: HE CAN'T DIE, AMY! *shoves Amy away* EVER! He will go on FOREVER and in...50 or 60 years, maybe sooner, I'll be dead! Then the boys will be dead...then...*clutches her stomach* Whoever this is...will be dead. *she's crying again, and sparking* The universe goes on for billions...of years...forever...and what the fuck makes you think there's not gonna be more wives ...or husbands and children. FUCK! There are already children! The boys 'Aunt Alice' is not their aunt. She's Jack's daughter!
Ames: What makes you so sure there won't be! God, even if there ARE, do you really think that means you don't matter to him? Open your damn eyes sometime and watch him. Watch the way he is with the boys. Here's a novel idea: take some initiative and TALK to him.
Liz: The boys are different, Ames. *frowns* Yeah, what am I gonna say? "Babe, your crazy alter ego told me he knows you better than I do and I'm not good enough for you. Even though he's in your head and part of you, he's fulla shit, right?" Yeah...no.
Ames: No. Well, you could tell him that, and pair it with the fact that you don't think the way he's been acting lately says anything contrary to it. Look, I don't claim to have all the magic answers, but I'm trying to help you. If you would rather I just shut up and let you mope and sulk in silence, say so. I really don't like wasting my breath on something that isn't being heard.
Liz: I -hear you-. *and she does sulk and mope* But...you don't know him like I know him, Ames. One false word and he could be gone forever. *sighs* I would rather live the rest of my life with him...like it is now instead of having him leave me.
Ames: You'd rather be absolutely miserable than fix it. That's what I'm hearing. And it's ricockulous. *have a moment of snickering*
Liz: I am not taking any more stupid chances with him! I love him, and...I won't lose him. *huffs* I'll take what I can get.
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}