Liz Sherman

I fight the urge to tell her what I'm thinking. Friends isn't good enough, come back home, you belong here, not out there. I love you, I miss you, I hate the idea of you being with anyone else.

"Told you I'd never give up on you, Kid." I smile at her, as best I can. "I wasn't lyin' to you, either."

Her eyes are sparking with fire and tears, how is that even possible?

"If Russia was," I frown. "If it was a mistake and this is what you really want...I'm not gonna stand in your way. I want you to be happy. And I don't wanne lose you, either."

I really do. I'm angry, I'm jealous and bitter, but it doesn't matter. I'd do anything to keep her happy and safe. If that means letting her leave, and letting someone else look after her, than that's what it means.

I need a beer. No, something strong than beer. Wonder what they have in the storeroom? Though I saw some real Absinthe in there the last time. That should do the trick.

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"Red, I'm sorry I...kissed you." I never wanted to have to say that to him. "I was...I don't even know." I reach over and hug him tight. I was scared, I was running on pure adrenaline. I just wanted to know that I was alive.

"You're like my brother, Red. I grew up with you, you always kept me safe and happy and...I love you for that. It's just..." I pull back and look in his eyes, such sad eyes. "I can't...I just don't." I step away when his jaw starts to twitch. I stand away from him and stand silently for a few moments.

"Are we going to be OK?" I chew on my thumbnail as I ask.

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I pull myself together and get up heading over to Broom's desk, all his files on the 456 event are right on top and to my shock my name and notes about me are all over them. According to these, Trevor had been planning to offer me a job, almost like he'd known what the event would do to me.

"He did," came a calm voice and I jump to see a a young fish standing looking over my shoulder. I smile at him. "You must be Abe," I say and he nods. "So Trevor either picked up ESP somewhere down the line...or he met the Doctor," I add.

"Neither," Abe replies his soft even tone washing over me, " he was worried you would drown under the weight of your own emotion one day and wanted you to be among people who understood you."

I ponder this. "You may think the humans you consider friends would understand you but you and I both know that could never be."

I know he's right, but it still hurts to hear. "Not only that," Abe adds with a soft smile, "Liz would have someone immortal around who could run interference with Red on occasion." He winks, I think, and I chuckle.

"True enough," I say with a nod.

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It hurts that she's sorry about the kiss. She regrets it, thinks it wasn't the right thing to do. Happiest day of my life, and all she wants to do is forget all about it ever happening. Figures.

"We'll be fine, Liz. I just need some time to deal with all of this." Everything is changing so fast. "You happy, Kid? In New York, with...everyone." With him, are you happy with Jack? That's what I really want to know.

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"You let me know when we're...like we used to be, okay?" What a thing to say. Things will never be the same. Too much had changed since that day.

"New York is nice. My job is fine. I made friends with a women who worked for the X-files. She knows Fox Mulder." I smile brightly. "Can you believe it, Red? The Fox Mulder."

I suppose he wants to know about Jack. Truth is, I have no idea what this, whatever it is with Jack is, let alone if things are going the way they are supposed to. I've never been in a relationship before, is this thing with Jack even a relationship? I have no idea.

"Jack is...nice." I say cautiously. "He makes me happy."

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I sigh deep in thought as Abe watches me. "Do you care of Liz," he asks point blank and for the moment I'm a little stunned. I care for her yes, but I know he's curious about how much. "My heart is deeply broken, but being with Liz...is...she's healing me and that's what matters to me right now," I say softly.

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"You met someone from the X-files?" I grin at her. "Is it true, the aliens and all that crap?" I sound so eager. Father always told me about Mulder, what a great man he was fighting for the truth, no matter who called him a freak for it. Why couldn't Liz have met him? I would have actaully liked to see her with him.

Of course, this Jack guy wasn't FBI. Maybe that's why Pop never mentioned him before. He's kinda like Mulder, a bit. If he fixed that thing with the kids, he can't be all bad.

"It's good you're...happy, Liz." I wonder just how happy. She has that sparkle in her eyes when she talks about him.

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"It's true." I smile warmly at him. It's almost as if the issues between us are forgotten, If only for a moment. "She was Mulder's partner for years. She said he's just as great as your father said he was. In fact, the more she tells me about him, the more I think you two would get along great."

"It is good, Red. I want you to be happy, too." I keep smiling. "You can be happy without me, you did it for 40 years without me."

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Abe watches me a long time before he speaks again. "Captain, I am telepathic in a way, would you mind terribly if I took a look inside your mind," he asked and I look at him with a frown.

"Why would you want to do that," I ask and he smiles. "I want to make sure Broom was right about you," he says which makes perfect sense to me.

"All right then," I say with a nod, "I won't fight you."

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"If you ever meet Mulder, you have to get me an autograph." I smile at her. It's nice to not have that gnawing feeling of anger dominating me. Maybe, I can get over this, what happened in Russia, the fact that she left us. Maybe.

"Kid, I don't want to live without you. I know you got a life to live and...new friends." I put my hand on her cheek and smile. "Just don't forget where you came from, who your family is." I can't stay mad at her, no matter how much she hurts me, even being here now, I can't stay mad. "You need to come visit more often."

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"I will, I have to get one for myself anyway." I smile back at him. Dana will probably laugh at me if Mulder ever turns up again, standing next to him like an excited teenager, asking for an autograph.

"Red, I miss you, too." I reach out and hug him chest. I really do miss him, and his father so much. It's hard enough being away from the place I grew up in for the second longest time in my life. Adding the lose of Broom and not having Red to talk to just makes it worse. My new friends are great, Jack is wonderful, but sometimes you need someone who knows everything about you.

"I won't ever forget, I promise." I whisper through a few tears. "I will try and come back more, too. I was just so scared of how you would feel about..." I pull away from him and frown. "About...the whole... Jack...thing."

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I lower my mental shields as Abe places a cool, webbed hand against my face. The memories sweep over us at the same time and I do my best to condense them into flashes so Abe doesn't drown in them.

Flash: Two boys running the older one screaming Gray, Gray after he drops the younger one's hand.

Flash: Me as a younger man watching a blue box fade before my eyes, heartbroken.

Flash: Bits from my hundred years on Earth.

Flash: Meeting Ianto, Tosh and Gwen, Suzie shooting herself.

Flash: A brief glimpse of the Master, before I slam a mental door on that.

Flash: John, Hart, Gray, Tosh and Owen dying.

Flash: Steven, the Hub exploding, pain, Alice screaming, Ianto saying I love you.

Finally Abe pulls away and we both are shaking. "I'm sorry," I manage.

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