#295 Cuddle Drabble for microwavemaster

[open_flame]

Characters: Liz Sherman, Luke Cambell (AU)
Fandom: Hellboy, Heroes AU
Setting: rp_shadesofgray
Rating: G
Word Count: 96
Prompt: Cuddle Drabble


The yawning trick? Seriously? I watch as Luke yawns despite the insane amount of coffee we’ve both just inhaled. His arm’s around my shoulder a moment later and I can’t hide my chuckle.

“Something wrong?” He smiles as I shake my head.

“No. You’re…fine.” I say though it’s anything but 'fine'. At least he’s not kissing me or calling me beautiful or confusing the hell out me like the last time. I am tired, despite all the coffee. It can’t hurt to put my head down on his chest and close my eyes for a few minutes, right?

Comments

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

I hope you couldn't hear how your head on my chest made my heart race.

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

I...didn't.

Was it?

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

*innocent face* Of course not.

I'm sorry if I'm making your life complicated, or confusing you. If it's any consolation, it's confusing to me too.

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

My life is always complicated. You're....the least of the problems, really.

*winces when she realizes that that might have come off as 'you're not important', which isn't true*

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

I don't want to be a problem at all, Liz. If I've become that, I'm sorry.

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

You're not. I never said that. It's just....complicated. That's all.

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

Then let me un-complicate it. If you want, we can act like it never happened. Erase it from history.

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

That's not what I mean...

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

*takes her hand* Is it to complicated to explain it to me?

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

*heavy sigh* I can't be with anyone right now. I just can't.

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

You can't... or you're afraid to? Because of what happened with Jack? *can't believe he's bringing that up, since he still feels tremendous guilt about his role in it*

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

*defensively*

Jack has nothing to do with anything!

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

Liz, of all the people in your life, I'm the last one you have to lie to.

*knows she's really lying to herself most of all*

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

Good thing I'm not lying, then.

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

So if your inability to date me has nothing to do with having your heart crushed by that arrogant asshole...

then why? Why won't you let me treat you like you deserve?

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

He's not arrogant!

*OK, a liiiiiitle bit defensive there*

And...I need time to think. I don't know what I want, except that I don't want anyone else to get hurt because I'm all confused.

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

*surprised, and dismayed, at how much she's defending Jack*

Just be sure that you don't confuse what you want, and what you need.

And don't worry about hurting anyone, especially me. I've been through worse things than being rejected. If I can survive the apocalypse, I'll survive whatever you decide.

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

Well I don't know what I need either.

*stares at him for sometime*

Of course I worry about hurting people. That's all I ever do is HURT PEOPLE! Just me being around hurts people.

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

*takes her hand*

Being around you is the only time I DON'T hurt. Something about you... makes me forget about everything I did and everyone I've lost.

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

Don't...say things like that.

*twitchy hands*

I'm just a girl. A screwed up, broken girl.

*whispers*

I'm not good for anybody.

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

Hey... *puts a finger under her chin and lifts her face so he can look her in the eye*

Everybody's broken in one way or another. But hiding from it isn't the answer.

The only way to fix the cracks is to plaster over them with the new. And sometimes, those cracks, those flaws, are the things that make us beautiful... and perfect for someone else.

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

*that sounds far to much like what John Myers said to her, and she doesn't like it for some unexplainable reason*

I'm not cracked. I'm fucking shattered!

*fights back tears. Why is Luke the only one who can make her cry anymore?*

You don't even KNOW me, why the hell do you keep insisting I'm so GOOD?!

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

I DO know you, and you ARE good! I've seen evil, Liz. I've been its right hand! Believe me, you are nowhere close to being evil.

You're young and afraid of listening to your own heart... but you are not a bad person.

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

What are...talking about?

*very upset face*

You were...a little jerk, but you're not...evil.

*sighs*

I never said I was evil. I don't WANT to hurt anyone, but I just do, not matter how hard I try not to. Jack was fine until I met him, and the younger you? God, I screwed up so bad with him.

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

Not him. The real me, this me! There's so much you don't know about me, what I've done.

And trust me, he was fucked up long before you came along. Did he ever show you his scars? *pulls up a sleeve to show her the cigar burn scars that have never faded* My father used to use me as an ashtray. My mother couldn't stand the sight of me.

Whatever you did with him, you paid more attention to him than he probably knew what to do with. You did not screw him up, Liz. And you are not destined to hurt people! Why can't you see that?

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

*softly* I know...I saw them before. When...you...he...um...

*she can't look at him*

*shakes her head and clears her throat* I...burnt his home down. Not with my fire but I did. It was...a mistake. We were only trying to help. I could have said no but I...wasn't brave enough to open my mouth and say anything.

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

Liz, everyone makes mistakes. That's what makes you human, not what makes you bad. If you kept repeating those mistakes, and didn't learn from them, that would be a different story.

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

*snorts at the 'keeps repeating those mistakes' bit*

I'm not the brightest girl, in case you haven't noticed.

*recent events, however have shown Liz that Luke is exactly right. The talk with Fox Mulder more than anything.*

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

You don't honestly believe that. And you're not the type to fish for compliments... so why do you keep talking that way about yourself?

You're stuck in some kind of circle, Liz. You haven't shared enough with me for me to know why, or how to help you. But I want to.

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

I...

*scoffs*

I'm just not that great is all. I don't see why people think I am.

*shrugs*

Maybe I like circles.

*Hello, walls. This is what usually happens when people call her on her bullshit. Have fun with that.(*

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

These circles you like so much... are they making you happy? Because you don't seem like it.

[open-flame.livejournal.com]

There are more important things in this world than me being 'happy'.

[microwavemaster.livejournal.com]

*can't resist pulling her into a hug*

Not to me, beautiful. Not to me.